GodZchiK's Xanga

What a day...

Tue, 26 May 2009 20:52:42 GMT

It's been over a month since I have updated! I'm so bad at this. I want to be better...I do! Life has been busy in every aspect. So many changes (a big one which I can't exactly go into detail with right now!).

Hope everyone had an amazing Memorial's Day. This one was a little different for me. My best friend Warren was supposed to be deployed last Monday, but it continued to be delayed. He called me yesterday morning. He was calling to say goodbye. He was at the Air Force Base about to step onto the plane. He had to call to say goodbye. It was probably the most awkward conversation. All I could say was "I love you, be safe, I'll see you soon." See you soon? Really Nicole? 10 months is not soon. I didn't even ask how he was feeling...even though I could tell there was something different in his voice. This is the moment he has been literally waiting for all his life, and here it was right before him. I'm sure it was different now that he has a wife of 6 months, and a home he is over. I wish I could have said everything going on in my heart, but nope....stumbled over my words. I knew he could tell. Wish I could redo the conversation.

When I thought about it. It was quite a day to be deployed on. A day most in the nation are remembering those who have given up their lives for our freedom. A day where...even those who do not support our troops might actually stop to thank them. Warren is one of the most bravest men I know. There are no words to say how proud of him I am.

Me and Warren at his wedding.

Yesterday I took my roommate to Santa Cruz. We spent the day touring different areas, all while I told her stories of me and Warren and showed her all of our hang out areas. We took over 300 pictures yesterday. Once she downloads them, I will post (some)them. It was quiet the perfect day.

Random other tid bits...

*11 days until graduation!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

*Have a meeting with my Pastor on Wednesday about a huge change in my life. Once I get clearance to tell people...BELIEVE ME....I will!!!

*Our home is starting to look like a home. We are all unpacked. We are still needing certain items of furniture though. God will provide though. What hasn't He provided yet? They are still fixing certain things as well around our place.

As usual...I'm running around like crazy today. So I must be off. How was your Memorial Day weekend?

Another question....What has God been showing you lately?

Hope you are doing well!

In your Dreams...

Thu, 23 Apr 2009 20:30:32 GMT

Almost 5 years ago, my church went through a major change. Our senior Pastor of 18 years stepped down to do something God had been tugging on his heart to do. In my denomination, when a senior Pastor resigns, all of the staff does too. This allows the new Pastor to either stick with the previous staff or choose their own. Part of me understands that, another part of me thinks thats crazy. ANYWAYS! Losing the only senior Pastor I had known, as well as losing my youth pastor and his wife who were my best friends(they felt God leading them elsewhere), it was a tough year for me.

A year after that, we hired on a new senior Pastor. He was unlike anyone I had ever met. Soon after that, he hired a new youth Pastor. Just a year older then me, we became friends. As the church secretary, I got to know our two new pastors. One thing that quickly stood out to me was the fact that they were dreamers and go getters. Always dreaming big. So much so, that my senior pastor forced me to schedual at least one hour of work time a week just to write down dreams I would like to see happen. Even though we were a small church, they didn't look at what we didn't have, but knew that if God gave them the dream, it would happen.

The biggest dream that my youth Pastor had, was to build San Carlos's first skate park. We are right next door to a high school and a Jr. High. We always had skaters on our property. For the past three years, he has been pushing ideas around on how to get a skate park built. He talked to people; tried to get the community and parents involved. It seemed like it was never going to happen. In fact, he even had parents laugh in his face. Some parents called him a lier, and told him that he should not put foolish dreams into their children's minds. Though I'm sure at times he got discouraged, he never let go of the vision God placed in his heart.

About 3 months ago, Chris (one of the youth pastors that our church networks with) called Matt(our youth Pastor). Chris is the youth pastor of The Skate Church a few towns over. He told Matt that his church was going to gather all the contractors in their church, come over on a Saturday and build us a $10,000 skate park.....FOR FREE!!!!! He felt this is what God has laid on his heart. So in March, a team of 30 people showed up at our church, worked all day, and built us a 14 peice skate park.

Yesterday, April 23rd. was the first day our skate park was open! This Saturday, we are throwing a huge grand opening party. The two schools next to us have been advertising it for us. The police department is showing up to support us. We had parents out their skating with their kids yesterday! It was incredable. I know that we are going to see student's lives changed through this.

Through out those three years of praying and dreaming for this event, the thing that never ceased to amazing me was how Matt stood and supported other people's dreams. Whether financially supporting, sending volunteers, or simply just praying with them.

It's been a hard three year long process, and we saw God bring our dream to pass yesterday. This is my encouragment to you. Don't give up! If there is a dream or vision that God has placed in your heart, don't let go and gaurd it with all your heart. Don't let the lies of the enemy and world bring you down. Also, begin to support other people's dreams. Whether it's through prayer, time invested, encouragement, whatever God lead you to do.

Ouch!

Tue, 21 Apr 2009 19:14:06 GMT

I read this today, and it really challenged me.

"Lukewarm people don't really want to be saved from their sins, they want to be saved from the penalty of their sins."

Do you think that's true?

The move has started. It's a lot different from any other move I have done. I'm house sitting for some friends who have two puppies. So I feel like I'm living between my old house, my new one, and theirs. A bit chaotic. Hopefully I will be completely moved in by May 2nd. It hits me more and more every time I go over there. I can't wait until I starts feel like home. Pictures will come soon!

In 11 days !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Tue, 07 Apr 2009 17:55:40 GMT

ME AND JEN ARE MOVING INTO OUR APARTMENT!!!!!!

I'm sorry I didn't post Part Two yet (it's still coming...I promise). As you can see, a lot of things are happening, and very quickly. Jen was spending the night at our friend Lucy's place, and found her down stairs neighbors moving out. The landlord is a friend of ours, and said the next place that opened up would be ours.So she called her to see if they were in fact moving out. Our friend didn't know anything about, so she sent an employee to check it out. She found out the people were going to try to skip out without telling them (they owed a lot of money), but they were moving. By that morning, March 28th, it was confirmed...the apartment was ours!

We set up an appointment that Tuesday to go check the place out. When we got there, we found the previous tenants had TRASHED the place. It was bad. She told us it was probably going to be another month and half until it was done because they were going to have to re-do everything. I mean these people took the good stove, and replaced it with an old not working one. The kitchen was still stocked with their old food. The carpets, once light tan, were now black. They lived there 10 years, and it looked like they never cleaned once.

We were bummed that was going to take that long, but we would wait. Our landlord is on staff at our church. She rents apartments out to other staff for really cheap. So we are getting a GREAT price for the neighborhood we are in (it's in a pretty upscale area).

WELL!!!! I ran into our landlord's friend who is in charge of re-doing the place. He says that has been working the contractors to the bone, and our place will be ready by April 15th. Our landlord is going to let us move in then, and give us those two weeks until May 1st for FREE.

The cool thing is...is I'm accomplishing my goal of being out of the house by at 22. I set that goal about 4 years ago, and will be turning 23 a month and a half after we move! How awesome is that?!?!?!

God continues to provide the things we are needing to move it. I'm in continuous shock everyday, and more and more things are being provided! Even as I have been unfaithful to Him, He is still so faithful. He blows me away!!!

So things are going to be crazy the next few weeks. I will take pictures soon and post them of our place!!!!!

Emerge Camp Pics...

Mon, 23 Mar 2009 18:25:29 GMT

My brother walking out to the water

The view from the window where we led worship. The first night the sun was setting while we led...so gorgous!

Eric, the worship leader. Ben and Me on the edge of the dock.

I see why they want to keep Tahoe blue

The dock we hung out on. That's Ben on the end.

Just another shot.

What God is doing....Part I

Mon, 23 Mar 2009 04:35:19 GMT

WARNING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! It's going to be a long one, but so good!

Last weekend I went Emerge Youth Winter Camp 2009. Our youth group, combined with another, made the 5 hour treck to East Lake Tahoe for a weekend of snow, snowboarding, but more importently a huge move of God. Now, I know that God can move anywhere and anytime, but there is just something different about getting away from everything and everyone.

My trip started off at 3:30 Am on a Friday morning. Being apart of the band as well as co-leading worship, I knew it was going to be a long, exausting weekend. I expected God to do something in our youth, and while I believed God could do something huge in me, it wasn't so much on my mind. On the first night...let me tell you....GOD MOPPED ME UP!

The first nights speaker spoke on opening the door for sin in our lives, as well as idols that we place in our lives. It was an outstanding message. Afterwards, he did an alter call for students who were struggle with putting things before God and different sin issues in their lives. I felt a tug on my heart, but being a youth leader, felt my priority was praying with my youth first. I was there for them right? I could get right with God later. HA! Afer I had prayed for a few students, our youth pastor got on the mic and basically challenging the leaders who were struggling in that area to get up there. He talked about how it was going to be more humbling because we had the chance to go up the first time and we didn't. I didn't care who saw me, I ran up there. I knew that I had been putting things before God. I didn't go up there with one thing that I was putting before Him, but knew I was. My friend(and College Pastor) Ceson began praying for me, and it hit me. God has placed amazing friends in my life who challenge me in life and in my relationship with God. These people have taken the place of God in my life; I placed them on a pedestal in my life. In looking for love and acceptence, I ran to them instead of God. I placed high expectations on them, expectations that shouldn't be placed on any human. Why? Because humans fail and will hurt me. Who won't? God. I would get so easily hurt by things my friends did when I had no right to be hurt. I was hurt because the standards I had for them...no one could meet...but God. He broke me that night. I have not cried that hard in quiet a while.

Now, Im still working on it of course. However, I am aware of it now, and that it's an area that I need to change. God has rekindled the flame in my heart. It maybe starting off small, but it's growing again. God did so much in not just my life last weekend, but the lives of each student and leader. Seriously guys!!!! God is on the brink of doing something huge in the Ba Area. Since this weekend God has been doing so much in my life...so much I need different posts for each one. Here's what to come:

-Holiness

-Conviction and change

-Worship Leading

Pictures from Emerge 2009 coming when Xanga doesnt decide take 67 min. to download them...

Test Me in this...

Fri, 27 Feb 2009 20:13:52 GMT

I have been reading for months about people losing their jobs, their homes, and their lives because of the financial crisis. I have always been sympathetic, but when asked if the crisis had hit me? I quickly said no, because at that point, it had not. It's been really slow here at work, to the point that they laid off all but three of us customer service reps. We are the three senior reps who have been here quiet a while. However, the past few weeks, it's gotten slower and slower. I was notified that my hours would be cut from full time to 25 hours a week. I would be able to keep my benefits, and they hoped this wouldn't last for long.

I have been trying to become financially stable and independent, wanting to pay off my college bills as well as saving up to move out in June. I have been studying various financial advisors and the best way for a college students to keep a budget. I have been changing and updating my budget based off of how much I have been making. However, today, I received my first paycheck with my new hours. The second I saw the amount, I panicked. I immediately began to ask myself how in the world was I not only going to be able to get by, but even save up and move out. I quickly updated my budget (again), and just stared at it.

As I began to do this, I looked up. There taped to my cubical was a note I wrote a few years ago. It states, "Man Panics...God Provides. Chuck Swindoll" Then as I was walking to my car, I remembered Malachi 3:10:

"Bring the whole tithe into the storehouse, that there may be food in my house. Test me in this," says the LORD Almighty, "and see if I will not throw open the floodgates of heaven and pour out so much blessing that you will not have room enough for it."

I have been brought up to tithe and believe in it 100%. My mom tithed even when we didn't have money, and guess what? We were never without what we needed. However, my Dad is completely against it. Whenever he gave me spending money, he would always tell me not to tithe off of it. Even at the age of 7, I did. I remember he gave me $20 one time, told me not to tithe, but I did. When I was with him one weekend, I found a $20 bill on the ground. Asked around, and it was no ones. I reminded my dad it was because I tithed. Some might say thats coincidence , but I don't believe so.

SO...all that to say. Yes, I'm kinda worried, but I have a faithful God who is going to get me through this. I'm going to place my finances in His hands, leave them there, and do what I can to be a good steward with what I have.

Have you ever tested God with your finances? How are you holding up during this time?

Never ending ache...

Fri, 27 Feb 2009 04:19:00 GMT

This week I have been house sitting for my Dad at his house while he is on a cruise. This is the same house that my grandma lived in. Her room is still set up as though she lived there. Her clothes still hang in place. Her smell still lingers. The pictures she hung up of me and my family still hang in their place. The worst part... everyday I have to walk down the stairs that ultimatly killed her. It's been a hard week here. In two weeks, my grandpa is coming back to his home here in the states. I'm excited to see him, yet I think the hardest moment is going to be picking him up from the airport, and seeing him walk off the plane without her.

Does the pain ever go away? Does ache ever go away when I remember that I will never see her again, or feel her overly tight sqeeze? Or taste the food only grandma can make? Because at this point, I feel like it never will.

The time has FINALLY come...

Sun, 22 Feb 2009 05:59:45 GMT

I found out that I only have 5 more weeks of classes before I graduate Bible school. Can you say HOLY COW? Right now I am done with the last set of classes, but I still have 2 more weeks of homework for that set. Then I start my last set of classes. I thought I had at least 6 more classes to do, but I guess I only have 2. So as of June 6th, I will be a college graduate. Then 2 weeks after that, Jen and I are moving in to our new place! Right now we are doing everything to be financially secure to make the move. We have been calling different apartments that are available now. It's a bit early, but they have all said they will keep our information if the locations are still open or if they have another one available. There are going to be so many great changes all in one. I'm looking forward to it. Hope you are all doing great!

Um....Excuse Me?

Tue, 17 Feb 2009 22:30:19 GMT

I'm not one to rant about news articles....but this one....oh....it just got to me. CNN.com has an interview with Bristol Palin (http://www.cnn.com/2009/POLITICS/02/17/bristol.palin.interview/index.html ), and how she believes that asking teens to be abstinent is unrealistic. Excuse me? Just because she didn't have enough self-control, doesn't mean it's unrealistic! As an almost 23 year old woman, who is a proud virgin, and is going to remain that way until her marriage night...let me tell you....it's realistic.

This was not a choice my mom made for me, or something that was forced upon me, but a choice I made for first off my self, then God and my husband. It requires setting boundaries for myself, AND choosing to not cross the boundaries, staying as far away. It requires not putting myself in compromising places. It requires being with someone who upholds those same values and convictions.

1 Corinthians 10:13 says, "No temptation has seized you except what is common to man. And God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out so that you can stand up under it."

When we are in those situations where we are faced with temptation, God has given us a way out. The question is...are we going to make the right choice? Are we going to flee from temptation, or chose to give in to it.

I know people make mistakes, and thank God He is full of grace and mercy. It's just angering to say that is it unrealistic, when thousands of people have held fast!

What do you think of the article?